Thursday, March 12, 2009

...I think I'll flip a coin.

It's taken me years to find what I was looking for and months to realize I finally have it. 
Something perfect.


Things scattered around me now, old bracelets, an empty soda bottle, lighters, pictures dating back to before I was born, clothing, a writing book, a drawing book, lotion and a tube of lip balm. My room is a bed and my bed is my home. Above me hands a picture from 6 years ago, my hair is short, my clothing dark and a forced smile on my face.

I'm going to be twenty one this year and things are looking positive. 
A boy told me he loved me, and has told me so every day and night since it first was whispered from his lips as he shook and held on to me tightly that night he was so lost. Two nights ago we christened the back seat of his car. 

Not a day has gone by where we did not see each other at least once the past 2 months.


We're planning a life together; find a quiet stabilization, a place we both call home, a time when it is safe and right to start a family.







I'm sitting here writing this, occasionally checking facebook for new notifications, a song to listen to, something to drink or eat that won't cause bad dreams.

Maybe I'll get up and wander the tiny apartment for a few minutes, tip-toeing on the carpet and linoleum, I'll hold my breath to not stir the air. 

And maybe it's time to stop what I am doing and lay down to rest. Or I can play World of Warcraft until the sun comes up...